There’s no denying it: no matter how bitter the arguments or soured the relationship, divorce hurts. It takes a toll on both the heart and mind. You may feel so hurt and exhausted that the last things you want to think about are legal matters and even more arguing in court.
By entering this process with a clear, rational mind, you can spare yourself even more heartache down the road.
Here are a few tips for avoiding bad decisions during your divorce.
Take the Time to Think
We can’t stress this enough: give yourself time to process what is happening and to come to terms with it. Be patient with yourself; do not expect yourself to have answers for everything. Divorce is not as simple as a business transaction.
It’s okay to worry about children, money, and prized possessions. It’s also okay to recall happier memories and mourn for your marriage. But it is important not to let your emotions keep you from thinking rationally and doing what you have to do to make it through the divorce.
You might even consider writing down what you have to do, so that you can be easily reminded and hold yourself accountable.
We understand how wild and unpredictable the emotions brought on by divorce can be. You might want nothing more than to escape these things altogether, even if you have nothing more than a toothbrush and a week’s worth of clothes but hold on: you should get some important materials together first.
Collect photocopies or originals of important documents: 401ks, tax returns, appraisals, loan information, credit card statements, birth certificates, passports, and social security cards. You should also create a list and proof of big-ticket-items you and your spouse shared or that you owned during the marriage: cars, property, investments, or any expensive gifts.
We’ve said it many times already, but we will emphasize again: you are going to feel many different things as you go through your divorce. One day you might feel angry and helpless, the next relieved. Do not deny yourself these feelings; instead, embrace them and allow yourself to understand why you feel the way you do. This can save children and others involved from getting more upset as well.
This may be a good time to consider finding a therapist, counselor, or a similar support system. Even just talking to a close friend or family member can make all the difference.
Think Big Picture
Right now, you may feel stuck and have no desire to think about what happens next. You might even prefer to forget about it altogether. In reality, we all know that with time things will get better, but it is hard to remember that in the moment.
When making decisions in the middle of a divorce, try to consider the big picture. Consider your past, both independently and with your partner. You should also consider your future. Set some achievable goals for yourself and give yourself something to look forward to. For example, maybe you want to try cooking healthy meals every night after work instead of going through the drive thru or maybe you just want to take up a new hobby.
Knowing what is waiting for you on the other side will help you stay focused and avoid making bad decisions.
Find the Perfect Advocate
You should not have to tackle something as life changing as divorce alone; you should have someone by your side who can advocate for you. An advocate should be someone who understands your needs.
The legal team at Allums Welsch PC are experienced with helping divorcing couples through such a difficult process. Your Alabama divorce attorney can help you navigate every step of your divorce. Reach out to us today.